NO MORE DELAY!

     In my heart I struggle with doubt.  Doubt that God is even real.  There. I said it.

     Even since I was four years old I have been raised in the Hebrew Roots movement, and even before then my mother was a searching Christian.  My life seems to be absolutely perfect from the outside...  But my heart is far from it.  I don't want to sound hopeless.  All of us go through times where we feel like the Father isn't speaking to us, but I have come to firmly believe that those are the times when He's speaking the loudest... we just aren't listening, or are able to listen. To be honest, I'm tired of beating around the bush.  I'm ready to embrace my Father and do what He has called me to do.  No, what He created me to do.  I'm done just living my 'oh so perfect' life.  I'm ready to fulfill my purpose.  Huge difference.

     For so long I've been taunted by the thought that I can't be Yeshua's bride.  I've been taunted by the thought that I'm not worthy enough, or the blasphemous thought that He died for everyone else, just not myself. This is not the case.  I have fought with myself so much over this.  I have told myself time and time again that I don't doubt.  Why would I doubt?  I have seen with my own eyes the obvious fact that He is real, and that He is active.  But what Yahweh has shown me just this very moment, is that deep down, in the depths of my heart I do doubt.  A lot.

     Because I doubt I am not able to accept the glory of His death and resurrection.  Because I doubt I am afraid to get to know Him more.  Because I doubt I cannot be His bride.  It's that simple.  Don't get me wrong.  I desperately want to be His bride.  However, the 'want' is not enough.  If I am not willing to know my Bridegroom; if I am not willing to learn about, and fulfill the glorious and beautiful purpose He has created for my life, than I am not worthy to be His Bride. It is time for me to stop expecting the Father to fill me with the Holy Spirit when my heart is not even remotely open to it.  For truly I tell you, that a gift CANNOT be given unless accepted by the receiver.  I WANT TO ACCEPT IT!    

     The King is coming soon.  But He's not coming for a bride that's gone around willy-nilly with the fairytale mindset that we are free from any and all obligation for our sins.  Yes, Yeshua did redeem us, but we are still, and will always be held accountable for the evil in our hearts.  Not until we accept His love for us, and until we prove our love for Him, by following Him and submitting to His ways, will we be fully redeemed.  He is coming for a bride who has dedicated her life to proving her love for Him.  That's exactly what He did for us; He should expect no less from us.

     That's who I want to be, and what I want to do.  I want to dedicate my life to proving my love for Him.  I want to be His bride, which means there is absolutely NO ROOM for doubt. I used to believe that all things were rooted in fear, but today I find myself dearly mistaken.  It is rooted in doubt.  The reason we fear is because we doubt that Yeshua is by our side.  We doubt that Yeshua has a perfect plan for our lives.  When we are delivered from doubt, we will be a fearless bride, because we know, without a doubt, that He is by our sides and is forever proving His love for us and fighting for us.

     Brothers and sisters, its time for us to do the same.  There is to be no more delay.  NO MORE DELAY!!!!

Sophie